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How to fight fair during a divorce

It’s a myth that some couples don’t fight. Anyone that lives together is inevitably going to encounter disagreements from time to time. However, the difference between those who are in toxic relationships that are on the brink of divorce and those in happy marriages tend to be that those in happy marriages can fight fair.

Fighting fair is about addressing the dispute head-on, and putting your own ego aside so that a resolution can be achieved. Unfair fighting can quickly escalate to include insults, bringing up past events and causing more harm than good. The following are some tips for fighting fair if you are currently going through difficult times in your relationship.

Keep things private

Issues that happen in a marriage should ideally be kept within the marriage unless it is something that is illegal or threatens your safety. Posting your relationship frustrations onto social media or spreading gossip about your spouse is only going to make things worse.

Keep the argument on-topic

When in the middle of an argument, it’s easy to switch to past events to try and “win points” against your partner. This is dangerous because it can mean that the argument escalates, and it can prevent the current disagreement from being resolved.

Don’t insult

No matter what is the cause of your argument, name-calling or insulting will not resolve anything. Try to keep your calm and focus on dispute resolution rather than anger or revenge.

If you are wondering whether to file for divorce, you should make sure that you are prepared for any eventuality. Being prepared can help you get the best possible outcome for yourself and your children.

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Joseph R. Zoucha, Attorney & Counselor at Law
520 Warren Street
Redwood City, CA 94063

Phone: 650-381-9591
Fax: 650-261-9650
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2950 Buskirk Avenue
Suite 300
Walnut Creek, CA 94597

Phone: 650-381-9591
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