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Joseph R. Zoucha, Attorney & Counselor at Law

Is it time to file for divorce?

After years of unhappiness, you may be ready to end your marriage and seek a brighter future. This is not an easy decision under the worst circumstances, and you still have moments when you question whether you are taking the right step. Chances are, if you look deeply enough, you will find the answers to those questions.

The fact is that many unhappy spouses in California struggle within their marriages for an average of six years before seeking advice about divorce. Many spend the best years of their lives waiting for their relationships to improve. If you do not want to waste that much time, you may be looking for signs that divorce is a reasonable option for your situation.

Are you seeing the signs?

Knowing divorce is the right decision is rarely a cut-and-dried experience. You may weigh the bad times against the potential for change. For example, if you are the only one who is still fighting for the marriage, all your efforts may be in vain because your spouse may have moved on emotionally. However, if both of you are eager to keep the marriage together, you may decide it is worth another try. Some signs you may recognize that tip the balance toward divorce include the following:

  • You and your spouse are fighting more often, and your fights are becoming more explosive.
  • You and your spouse are not fighting at all because you have both emotionally checked out from the marriage.
  • One of you (or both) is unwilling to let go of a behavior that is damaging the marriage, such as addiction, cheating, abuse or financial infidelity.
  • You no longer have any positive feelings toward your spouse and find it harder to act civilly, even in public, or your spouse feels this way about you.
  • You cannot recall the reasons why you married this person or the factors that attracted you to each other.

One common indicator that it may be time for divorce is that you and your spouse have made every good faith effort to repair the marriage and avoid divorce. This may include attending marriage retreats, getting counseling together and separately, seeking marriage therapy, and learning new ways to communicate with your spouse. If none of these made a difference, your next step may be seeking the advice of an experienced family law attorney who can guide you in the most positive methods for ending your marriage and protecting your rights.

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